


Lucid Dreaming

by windandthestars



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Episode: s02e05 Pavor Nocturnus, F/M, Pavor verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 06:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windandthestars/pseuds/windandthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants to see her cry for something beautiful, as transient and improbable as that might be.  He wants her to remember this when he leaves her alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucid Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> Mention of rough sex, spanking/paddling. Slightly dark and definitely angst feels of the Pavor!verse sort.

She cries, still clawing weakly at his arm, clinging to him as the last of the sobs wrack her body. He can't ever remember seeing her like this, perhaps in their life before, but not this Kate who's fierce and strong. Even her body, fuller, curvier than his own, is hard under his hands: muscle and firm bone.

The tears have stopped, but she still holds tightly to him, as if to shield herself from her grief. She hadn't wept when Henry had died, the others who had passed away had hardly drawn her attention. The old Will would point out that this was a coping mechanism, separating herself from their death and her grief, the present day Will didn't care. Things would never be like they used to be. They were losing a war. They would lose one another, lose everything eventually. They had lost Magnus last week. It was only a matter of time before one of them moved on, walked away without the other.

It's being here, in the old Sanctuary, in the place that had been the first real home for the both of them, the last real home they had had, that's eating at her. It's eating at him too, although unlike her, he's determined not to let on. There were bigger issues, darker days, ahead than whatever trauma his memories sought to unearth. There were pharmacies with shattered glass windows and grocery stores with empty shelves, there were batteries leaking acid onto damp mildew covered floors.

Kate breathes in deep against his shoulder and her pulls her close, sharply, possessively, his hands cupped around her ass, the skin there still raw and bruised from the paddle he had thrashed it with the day before. It wasn't always rough between them, harsh and painful, but more often than not it was. In the beginning they had tried to hang on to the gentler, softer parts of themselves, but there wasn't much of a place for that now. Everything hurt: living, breathing, dying, her skin under his hand, her teeth against his shoulder.

They were tempting fate, living on the edge. It was everything they'd thought they had wanted; it was a nightmare. Adrenaline junkies stuck in a time loop, video game combat, guns and blazes of glory, only it was real and no one came out alive. No one.

Kate peaks up at him, not shy, but cautious. She blinks, he reaches down to brush away her tears, the pad of his thumb smearing dirt under her eye. This place is filthy, the Sanctuary, the entire city is covered in half a decade of ash and dirt. She pulls back so he can wipe at her cheeks. He obliges, swiping at her cheeks, drawing in his fish faced and she smiles, squirms closer and kisses him. 

"Remember that time we snuck into the old library?" She draws in her bottom lip, still looking up at him. "You kept telling me to be quiet, but I couldn't. I-" She breathes out and brushes her lips against his cheek, rough and stubbly, before kissing him again. "I want to feel like that again, one last time."

He watches her, softening. It was hard to understand where the endless hope in her eyes came from and even harder to understand why it was still there. Even so he can't resist it. It's the one thing left in this world that still tempts him, the one folly left from their life before. At the time they had seemed like such reckless, dangerous acts, but here, now, there was a certain beauty to them.

There were risks now too, contraception was all but nonexistent, the bed, the tables, the walls, filthy, but these like the worries from so long ago seem trivial. She hardly ever asked him for anything, certainly not for this. They were always alert, always weary and he wants to let that go, just as much as she does, if only for a moment.

He wants to see her cry for something beautiful, as transient and improbable as that might be. He wants her to remember this when he leaves her alone. She wants to dream while she's awake, to be transported away from all of this and the ache that never leaves her chest. His arms tighten around her and he breathes into her hair. "Kiss me again and I won't be able to tell you no."

**Author's Note:**

> For kink_bingo: Spanking/Paddling, Secretions, Possession, Spaces Scenes and Settings


End file.
